The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Rating: • • • ½ (out of 5)
Age Recommendation: 10+
It's finally here; Peter Jackson's second installment in the Hobbit trilogy hit theaters late last night.  Naturally, I couldn't stay away.  Now I'm someone who tries not to judge a book by its cover; likewise, I try not to judge a movie by its book.  I try to treat source novels and their adaptations as separate but related entities rather than dwelling too much on the adaptation being "right" or "wrong."  That being said, for those novel purists, you will probably have a fit when you see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013).  I've only ever read The Hobbit twice, the most recent time being in preparation for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), but I was surprised at how many plot alterations I noticed and can't help but discuss some of these differences here. 

I knew there would be changes.  I'm pretty sure everyone with any interest in the series did.  I'd read in Entertainment Weekly about this new elf girl "Tauriel" (Evangeline Lilly), so I was prepared for that addition, controversial though she may be.  I honestly was fine with Tauriel's role which, although largely predictable, might surprise and even disappoint some viewers when it comes to romantic developments.  If anything, her character is underdeveloped.

I was also prepared for Legolas (Orlando Bloom) showing up.  Although I suspect the inclusion of Legolas has more to do with Orlando Bloom's huge fangirl following, I agree with Jackson's logic that Legolas might very well have been in the Mirkwood when Bilbo and the dwarves passed through; after all, his father is King Thranduil (Lee Pace), who plays an important--but somehow very subdued--part in this movie.  The real benefit of adding Tauriel and Legolas is for the ridiculous fight sequences.  You thought Legolas skateboarding down steps on a shield was silly?  Or how about that time he slid down a dying oliphaunt's trunk?  These stunts are mere child's play compared to the humorous spectacle of butt-kicking Legolas and Tauriel delight viewers with.

I'm not saying the dwarves don't have their moments of physical humor (one in particular comes in mind, in the midst of the elves showing off), but the elves really steal the show whenever they pop up, which is a lot more frequently than those who have read the book might expect.  After a brief flashback and nod to The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) to summarize the purpose of Thorin's (Richard Armitage) quest, complete with the town of Bree and another carrot-eating Jackson cameo, we jump right into the thick of things.  Bilbo (Martin Freeman), Gandalf (Ian McKellen), and the dwarves are on the run from the orcs (or are they goblins?) and their giant wolf steeds known as wargs... which is kind of where we left off, only with no mention of the eagles that saved the day.

Next we come to the "Tom Bombadil" of The Hobbit, Beorn. I call him that because I understand this shape-shifting bear-man to be yet another beloved fan-favorite who could easily have been left out of the movie.  This time, though, Jackson learned his lesson and left Beorn in, though I'll be curious to hear other viewers' reactions.  Despite not being a novel purists, I was slightly bummed by the treatment of Beorn.  For one thing, while being described as large and hairy, I don't recall Tolkien describing a weird nose.  As with the centaurs in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005), the extra make-up on Beorn bothered me; I think creatures that are supposed to have human features should have human features.  Instead, Beorn looks a lot like Raw from the Tin Man (2007) mini-series, which bothered me for all of the minute we got to look at him.  While glad he was included, I was also irked by the removal of one of the book's cuter scenes, the clever way Gandalf tricks Beorn (who hates dwarves) into hosting the whole group.  Furthermore, there is very little explanation of this character and his strange lifestyle to those who haven't read the book, which might make Beorn's inclusion confusing.

On to the Mirkwood, the creepy old forest.  Instead of the weeks of travel the original story describes, the dwarves and hobbit (Gandalf is off doing his own thing at this point, with a return of Radagast) quickly start hallucinating and give up.  As a result, we miss out on two more scenes I was looking forward to: one involving Bombur and a stream, and the other involving feasting elves.  As every evil forest in the history of fantasy seems to include, the Mirkwood has its giant spiders, though Bilbo is a lot less sneaky than he could be now that he has discovered the Ring's powers.  Immediately after, we jump to the capture by Thranduil's elves.  With the exception of the spider fight, these early-movie scenes all seem downplayed in importance--like they are mere nuisances rather than real dilemmas for Bilbo to solve.  In fact, everything up to this point seems skimmed over.

Moving on, the party finds its way into the care of Bard (Luke Evans), who has been styled as a Will Turner (Bloom's character in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise) look-alike.  Here we get a lot of dull repetition of the words "barge," "Bard," and things to the effect of "rebel" or "rabble-rouser" to explain the Master of Laketown's (Stephen Fry) distaste for the man.  The most interesting thing about the Master is his hair, which is hideous on a level to rival the orcs.  This whole segment is rather dull, as the Lonely Mountain is now in view yet we must wait to see Smaug, but Jackson switches things up by leaving three dwarves in the town and throwing in some rather pointless elves and orcs.  Kili (Aidan Turner), as the most attractive dwarf, even gets his own little story line which references events from The Fellowship of the Ring and overshadows Bilbo at times.

Finally, we get to see the legendary Smaug.  As with his encounter with Gollum in the previous film, Bilbo finds himself using wordplay as a defense--this time against a giant dragon.  This was well done, but I wanted even more.  There are plenty of fight scenes that could have been cut to make room for more brilliant dialogue.  Still, it is only once the Lonely Mountain is reached that viewers finally get to see a decent amount of Bilbo, who has been largely ignored throughout the movie if he is the central character as I believe him to be, before throwing in some final, somewhat confusing action sequences.  As for the special effects, I am very pleased with the appearance of Smaug who, unlike the excessively ugly CG orcs, could not have been produced with mere makeup.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking, "Gee, Cinema Steph sure has a lot to gripe about--sounds like she didn't like this movie."  That's not the case.  Despite all my nitpicking, this is a movie that does what I like in a movie: it tells a story, and it entertains.  This movie stands fairly well for part two of a trilogy.  The Desolation of Smaug leaves me wanting to watch part three, while sustaining a climax and conclusion of its own.  Sure, there's very little prologue, and sure, I thought Bilbo should have more lines, but overall I am satisfied with movie.

Summary: There are several small to moderate changes for book purists to debate, but The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is full of the adventure we look for in these movies.  The stunts are extreme to the point of silliness, the orcs are uglier than ever, and the role of the titular hobbit seems diminished, but the spectacle remains entertaining.  What isn't an obvious nod to The Fellowship of the Ring is for the most part delightfully fresh, and I recommend this film to anyone with any interest in fantasy adventures who can handle the sight of a decapitated orc, especially if you saw An Unexpected Journey.  If you have any interest in the series, go ahead and see it in theaters.

The Good: humorous action sequences, engaging story, lovable Bilbo, dragon CG and design nearly perfect, some witty lines
The Bad: soundtrack less memorable, predictable romantic developments, not enough Bilbo, Laketown seems like the plot stalls
The Even Worse: skims over or leaves out memorable parts of book, excessively grotesque orcs

Thor: The Dark World (2013) YouTube Review

Here's my review of Thor: The Dark World (2013) on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/v/bsmBME4SlYc?version=3&autohide=1&autohide=1&feature=share&showinfo=1&attribution_tag=Va0m1kVcwH26NgJ-3TWB6w&autoplay=1

Enough Said (2013) - YouTube Review

Here's my review of Enough Said (2013) on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/v/JVKEdJiMbpw?version=3&autohide=1&showinfo=1&autohide=1&attribution_tag=Va2sXZB-a2uMoD4U6lsK7g&autoplay=1&feature=share

Gravity (2013) - YouTube Review

Here's my first movie review video, for the movie Gravity (2013)!

http://www.youtube.com/v/t4PaUKIk-lQ?autohide=1&version=3&showinfo=1&attribution_tag=YgmF3Ky-gXe35WWSiFzHCg&autohide=1&feature=share&autoplay=1

 More to come from youtube.com/cinemastephreviews

If you like Stephanie's Cinematic Say-So...

Please check out my series of Disney reviews at stephsmoviemusings.blogspot.com and my review of Gravity (2013) on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZp-Nstjsh8 (more to come!!!).

The World's End (2013)

Rating: • • • • ½
Age Recommendation: 15+
Knowing no more going into The World's End (2013) than what the trailer has to offer, I wasn't sure what madness to expect.  It seemed to me that the movie would be split into two parts: a comedic beginning, and a sci-fi action ending.  I feared that the brilliant ensemble-driven dialogue about the number of musketeers (among other things) previewed in the trailer would go to waste once the sci-fi elements kicked in.  I also feared that this might be one of those comedies where the trailer shows all the best bits, and the rest is all downhill.  I am very happy to have been mistaken in my misgivings; The World's End is a blast of in-your-face entertainment that has more laughs than one can count and a surprising amount of heart.

A bit slow at the start as the characters of Gary King (Simon Pegg), Andy (Nick Frost), Steven (Paddy Considine), Oliver "O-Man" (Martin Freeman), and Peter (Eddie Marsan) are introduced as both their teenage and middle-aged selves, The World's End really takes off once we reach that scene I talked about before--the one where the five main characters are discussing musketeers for the first of many times.  Fortunately this character introduction does not take long at all, and very soon Gary has gotten the "band" back together through only a little bit of fibbing and a "white" lie about a deceased relative.  (The quotation marks will make sense once you've seen it.)

The premise that brings the characters together is goof-off Gary's need to relive--and this time complete--the "Golden Mile," a twelve-pub crawl in his hometown that he and his four buddies attempted as teenagers.  His friends, skeptical of the scheme from the start, soon grow weary of Gary's antics.  Just when it looks like the pub crawl is going to be called off, things really get weird.  Even the squeamish will find themselves laughing instead of cringing at what ensues.

I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that watchers of Doctor Who will find sci-fi elements very much akin to those in "The Bells of Saint John" (2013).  This is all fine by me.  The introduction of enemy robots-that-aren't-"robots" creates mayhem and more laughs as the five attempt to reach the movie's titular pub, but the real story is found between the laughs and the action as each character reveals insecurities about his own life.

The quick pacing, quick humor, and running gags of The World's End keep the audience on its toes.  Even the ending kept me pleasantly surprised, to the extent that it took me several minutes to realize that Andy, who narrates that portion, wasn't pulling the audience's leg.  They didn't water it down for an "American ending," and thank goodness for that.  For a sci-fi comedy set in a small English town, The World's End is refreshingly out-of-this-world.

Summary: Anyone able to handle casual use of the F-word and mild adult humor in a comedy and not afraid of a bit of action should find The World's End a thrill ride of laughter.  There's none of that "dry British humor" that divides Americans by comedic taste, but we still get to know the delicacy of human nature beneath the bravado of our characters' drunkenness, with some blue-blooded "robots" thrown in.

The Good: lots of laughs, lots of heart, great ensemble cast, cute story, fun music for some "robot" ass-kicking
The Bad: nothing
The Even Worse: nothing

**EDIT**
I have now changed my use of the American term "bar" to "pub."  (Happy now, Mom?)  Also, in my haste to finish the review, I forgot to mention the small but charming role of dual love interest Sam (Rosamund Pike), the role of the town crazy who turns out to be not so crazy Basil (David Bradley), and the smaller and less charming--but still amusing--role of high school teacher Guy Shepherd (Pierce Brosnan).  I should also mention that this story could be told entirely devoid of alien "robots" and still be a charming "dramedy" well worth seeing... but where would be the fun in that?

Pacific Rim (2013)

Rating: • • • ½
Age Recommendation: 10+
Going into the theater tonight, I was skeptical of the positive feedback Pacific Rim (2013) has been receiving.  The previews did little to entice me, and if my friend hadn't chosen it, I might never have seen it.  Despite all of my apprehensions, as I watched it, the film slowly grew on me in it's corny, special-effect-driven way.  You can't take this film too seriously.  You just can't.  Pacific Rim forces the audience to come to terms with the absurdity driving the very core of its premise; if you can't do that, you're in for a loooong ride.

The movie starts with a lengthy introduction that serves as an information overload as a not-too-distant world full of giant aliens ("kaiju") and mecha suits ("jaegers") is thrown in our faces (more so if you watch in 3D, I would imagine).  We are introduced to two characters, brother pilots of the giant suits, whom we expect to be our heroes. Then a battle against a kaiju goes wrong, the title appears, and we skip forward five years.  We hardly get a glimpse of the characters' faces or a feel for their personalities before someone is killed off.

Thankfully, after we return to the story, this killing of main characters does not become a trend.  It does, however, haunt our main character, a Heath Ledger look-alike (Charlie Hunnam) named Raleigh Becket, when he is forced out of a construction job and back into a suit by his former commander, Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba).  All of the remaining suits--which would be four, if I remember correctly--have been collected in Hong Kong in the most ridiculously diverse team imaginable. The mission is some mumbo-jumbo about throwing a bomb into the sea rift/inter-dimensional alien portal the weird monsters are coming from before the department is shut down or the end of the world, whichever comes first

In addition to our American hero and British commander, we are introduced to the whole ragtag gang: a Japanese woman named Mako (Rinko Kikuchi), an Australian father (Max Martini) and his bully son (Robert Kazinski), and the Chinese trio and Russian duo whose suits get more face time than they do.  The Aussies' bulldog is given more attention than the Chinese and Russian pilots.  The time spent in this bunker/warehouse/base/whatever is tedious and repetitive.  Mako is instantly impressed with Raleigh and his abs, but Stacker won't let her co-pilot due to some mysterious event in the past and something about vengeance.  They go back and forth and back and forth, keeping the mystery until Stacker...well he actually doesn't cave.  He just arbitrarily changes his mind and lets her co-pilot.  The generic banter, in-fighting, and vague allusions to Mako's past really drag, making me long for more special effect battles.

The only entertainment during this time--besides Mako creeping on Raleigh--comes from the introduction of two bumbling and polar opposite scientists, Newt (Charlie Day) and Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gorman), charged with the task of studying the kaijin.  You might think a once-giant military organization would have a bigger research department, but no.  Once these two buffoons are introduced, I slowly began to find myself laughing out loud.  It's around this point in the movie that I was finally able to suspend disbelief and enjoy the madness in front of my eyes.

Newt, especially, steals the show as he goes in search of live kaiju brains to link with his own.  This quest leads him to a quirky black market man named Hannibal Chau (Ron Perlman) whose gold shoes are something to be remembered.  (Which reminds me... there's a scene in the credits!)  You don't see too much of this guy, but he's quite memorable.  The two play off each other better than Newt and Dr. Gottlieb.

Anyway, more monsters appear and once Mako overcomes her haunting memory, she teams up with Raleigh.  There are heroic sacrifices.  There are big battles.  There are hidden surprises.  Many of the jaegers' features are still being revealed in the final battle.  When the heroes' suit suddenly had a sword, I had to laugh at the convenience and silliness of it; by the time the kaiju they had been battling for several minutes suddenly remembered it had wings, I had given up any hope of explanations.

I would like to take this time to rant on the hideousness of CG monsters in the past several years.  Starting with Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005), and now The Avengers (2012) and Pacific Rim, there's this concept of giant aliens that look like hairless ice age animals mixed with bony fish and manatees, with fleshy mandibles..... or..... something like that.  They all have giant upper jaws and tiny eyes  and are made of nasty grey skin and bony or metallic armor, sometimes making it unclear if they are, in fact, living creatures.  I know they're meant to be visually unpleasant, but when I have difficulty believing in these monsters' existence or difficulty even seeing them (Really? Do they all have to be hairless and dark grey?), it really detracts from a story.

Rant over, this film is relatively tame, if you don't count violence to aliens who appear to be filled with blue glow-stick fluid.  As for sexuality, there's not even as much as a kiss, and a mild fist-fight is the worst physical harm you really get to see.  The dialogue can be dull and repetitive or just plain confusing at first, but once you get into it, the whole thing is quite captivating.  As I said, it is Newt who steals the show, making the whole thing worthwhile... Newt and Hannibal's shoes.

Summary: Pacific Rim takes quite a while to get sucked into, but once engaged, it is quite humorous.  Even the battles become laughable, in a good way.  Small children may not like the violence or understand what's going on, and others may find it too mild or cheesy, but most audiences will find it an enjoyable, spectacle- and adrenaline-filled ride worthy of the big screen.


The Good: nerdy scientists, epic music, unexpected humor
The Bad: unbelievably ugly monsters, repetitive dialogue, plot stalls near the beginning, no romantic payoff
The Even Worse: nothing