The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Rating: • • ½
Age Recommendation: 10+
I'm not sure what I just watched.  I mean, I know my ticket stub says "12:01 AM - The Dark Knight Rises," but this movie was such a whirlwind of action and scheming that I'm not sure what to make of it.  There are so many questions I have about what happened and why that I barely know where to begin... so I'll start with the beginning.

A strange masked man named Bane (Tom Hardy) with the same mixed martial arts training as Batman, starts off the action by traipsing aboard some CIA airplane and kidnapping some scientist guy in mid-air.  The audience is left in the dark as to the purpose of this scene until about halfway through.  The thing about Bane is, he looks and sounds a lot like Darth Vader minus his cape and helmet, a la Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983).  When I say he sounds like Vader, I should say that while his voice is deep and calm like James Earl Jones's, his mask's speech amplification is awful.  Not only does his jaw never seem to move under his muzzle-like mask, but you can't hear half of what Bane says, as his words are muffled by it; then again, I also had difficulty hearing what Police Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) was saying half the time as well... but at least he has the excuse of being physically frail.  And what exactly does Bane's mask do?  The thing, supposedly crafted in a makeshift jail cell hospital in the Middle East (Uzbekistan?), supposedly cuts down his pain from some long-ago fight... so, what, does it administer medical marijuana or laughing gas or something?  And while we're speaking of the mask, how does Bane eat?

So, with the baddie established following the action-packed but poorly-explained and completely unbelievable airplane stunt, we return to Gotham City.  Everyone is gathered at the estate of Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) to hear a speech by Gordon about the "real Harvey Dent"... which he doesn't give but for some reason no one seems to care.  Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) shows up to steal fingerprints and pearls from under Bruce's nose and clarify to the viewers that the man has been locked in his mansion so long that rumors have likened him to the Beast of fairy tales.

As Selina's sharp, likeable, ass-kicking thief character--and cat costume--develop, we begin to wonder if the film is really about Batman, or about this girl who has gotten herself in with the wrong crowd.  For all her wit, though, it's a wonder she can't figure out the Bruce/Batman thing on her own.  Anyway, she and Bruce have several scenes together and they naturally bond as it comes to light that she has indirectly caused the downfall of Wayne Enterprise's stock crash for some corporate villain whose brief but confusing entwining of Bane's and Selina's plots comes to a sudden end a third of the way through the film.

Bruce bears the blunt of his financial ruin all very well (in fact, it doesn't even phase him), but not before parting ways with the beloved manservant Alfred (Michael Caine)... again, about one-third of the way in--Did I mention this movie is long?  Bruce somehow can afford to have Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) continue making bat gadgets in the basement of the Wayne tower, even without permission or funding, and has built an unstable nuclear reactor under the river without anyone noticing.  Bane also has built a sewer base without anyone noticing.

The hows and whys are never addressed, just as the hows and whys of Bruce's living as a recluse for eight years are given no more explanation than that Rachel died.  This discussion with Alfred leads to a big shocker for Bruce, but one that audiences of The Dark Knight (2008) will recall.  The interactions between Alfred and Bruce are all of a serious nature, lending the film a heavy mood.  The "darkness" of The Dark Knight Rises, however, lacks the elements of tension and surprise that the Joker's eccentricities provided The Dark Knight; violent action just kind of happens and then it's over and that's it. 

How the action happens once Batman comes out of retirement is a mystery; apparently he is missing all of the cartilage in his joints, knee brace or no.  Yet, he goes from cripple with a cane to action hero with ease and faces Bane in not one, but two unimpressive fist fights (only to discover that it is a femme fatale he should have been watching out for).

With Commissioner Gordon out of commission, the idiot second-in-command whose name didn't seem worth remembering makes such a bungle of things that every policeman save one young cop by the name of "John" Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is caught in one simple move.  What follows are scenes that looked to be straight out of the communist takeover of Russia in Doctor Zhivago (1965).  Meanwhile, Bruce has gotten himself stuck in some weird hole-in-the-ground self-governed prison halfway around the world with vertebrae sticking out of his back.  No biggie.  He waits months for the threat of Bane's nuclear bomb (made from Bruce's own not-so-secret reactor), which has kept the armed forces at bay all the while, to reach its detonation day, then magically appears in Gotham.  The city is under strict lock-down and Bruce is halfway around the world in an Arabic-speaking nation, penniless, without any of his bat gear.  I dare you to explain how he got into Gotham.

So, upon finding his city in chaos, what does Bruce do?  He spends God knows how many hours rigging the Batman symbol to burn on a bridge.  Come on!  The man has like half a day to save the city and he spends it doing some sort of ego-centric art project?  It's bad enough he spends the time to blacken his eyelids so carefully each time he puts on the mask!  Then there are questions like "Don't atomic bombs have tons of widespread radiation fallout?" and "Mightn't such an explosion near water create a horrible tidal wave?" but these are just my musings as I think about what all could have gone wrong.

I don't want to give the ending away, so I'll leave the story at that.  Basically, the film has lots of action, but it lacks a sensical plot.  New characters Selina Kyle and John Blake are all right, though the orphan theme presented every time the latter appears gets a bit old.  Gordon and Alfred are largely absent, unfortunately, and Bruce has grown dull.  Still, if what you want is a Batman film, this fits the bill.  It's when you look for too much more that the film falls short.  Motivations and emotions are largely lacking--not even the introduction of sexy business partner Miranda (Marion Cotillard) can snap Bruce out of his apathy--for hero and villain alike, making for a super hero film that lacks the camp of earlier Batmen and the psychological thrills of The Dark Knight.

Summary: As for the quality of acting and script, this film is more on par with Batman Begins (2005) than The Dark Knight, but without the plot filler of an origins story.  Instead, we are presented with a jumble of poorly explained events crammed into a very long movie.  If you want to see it for the conclusion of the trilogy, go ahead; but if you're looking for a great blockbuster, this may not be what you're looking for.

The Good: favorite characters return, Cat Woman, conclusion to series, cool new mode of transportation
The Bad: drama lacks feeling, plot holes, no iconic lines for bad guy
The Even Worse: long run time, lacks comic relief